Monday, March 21, 2011

quick to anger

I am not one that enjoys being mad at someone. I hate grudges. I think they're pointless. I think what I hate most is when someone is mad at someone but doesn't even let them know. How on earth is this person supposed to know they did something wrong if you haven't confronted them?

I understand that confrontation for some can be scary, but in the same breath what good is it doing being angry about something that can never be fixed until it's addressed?

I've known many people; friends, family, etc. who are quick to be angry with someone without even sharing with that person what they did wrong. The anger usually festers up and develops into worry, gossip, loss of trust, disrespect and much more. It seems odd to me how someone would rather spend days, weeks, months or years mad about something rather than approaching the situation in a mature respectful manner and simply say "hey, i heard blah blah blah" or "when you did this it hurt my feelings" or whatever the issue is. I like to think that some people don't because they just don't care. Maybe they're like my husband and for the most part things just roll off their back. However, there are some out there who will hold onto these things and continue to complain about how awful someone is or they can't believe they did that but yet they have yet to let them know what they've done so they can FIX it.

I don't think it's a daily goal for most people (well at least i hope it's not) to go out and upset someone... especially friends or family. Do things happen? yes. Should it be the end of the world? no. Talk it out. You'll be amazed how much your relationship can grow.

What about those who constantly say "oh don't worry i'll confront them ___insert day___" (don't get me wrong i'm not claiming to be this amazing person who's never done this. i definitely have waited to approach someone until i felt as though i had everything in order to actually confront them and make my case on why i was upset and waht it was that upset me) Have we become numb to the idea that tomorrow isn't promised? Those long lost cousins, your spouse/significant other, your child, your family, your friends... they could ALL be taken in an instant. Does anyone really want the last memory to be that they were upset with that person?

IMO, being upset with people takes too much work. First you have to remember WHY you're upset and with 2 little ones running around it's easy for me to forget. Heck half the time i don't remember what i had for lunch. Then you have to let that fester and continue to boil over until you're so mad you don't want to reconcile. Either cut them out of your life and be done or approach the situation. I promise it's only intimidating at first. You can actually agree to disagree. It's this cool things adults (well most hopefully) do. haha

I guess what I'm saying is this. Be slow to anger. Enjoy your friends and family. Remember we're all human and we have to make mistakes to grow and mature. Take it easy and when a mistake occurs confront it. Give them a chance to realize their wrongdoings and help make your relationship better. Life is a lot better when you're in a good mood and worry free then when you're walking around counting all the people you're mad at and why you're mad at them.

A few words of wisdom i like on this particular topic...

"Leviticus 19:17-18



Do not hate your brother in your heart. Rebuke your neighbor frankly so you will not share in his guilt. Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD."

"Ephesians 4:31-32



Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."

"Proverbs 14: 29

Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly."

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